I have to say my friends
This road goes a long, long way
And if we’re gonna find the end
We’re gonna need a helping hand
Salvation, lyrics by Bernie Taupin
© 1972 Dick James Music Limited
It’s no wonder that so many people hate organized religion. Religion has been used to justify war, genocide, imperialism, segregation and all sorts of discrimination. Remember studying “Manifest Destiny” in the eighth grade? No? Well I do. It was a widely held belief in the 19thcentury that it was God’s will that American settlers expand throughout the continent. It was used by politicians to justify the war with Mexico in 1840 and the genocide of native Americans so the country could expand all the way to the west coast.
In 1959, religion was used to try to justify segregation and laws against interracial marriage:
“Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”
– Judge Leon M. Bazile, January 6, 1959
Then on a personal level, there’s the “I’m not perfect, just forgiven” mentality, which argues that it’s ok to lie, cheat and generally be an asshole because Jesus forgives us for our sins. I don’t think that’s what Jesus had in mind when he said: This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” Matthew 26:28, NIV.
Jesus did not die on the cross so you could throw a colleague under the bus in order to get a promotion.
Which brings us to today’s song parody, entitled “Good Christian Woman,” to be sung to the tune of the Rolling Stone’s “Honky Tonk Women.”
A GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN
I met a Yale-bred lawyer down in Richmond
She tried to throw me underneath a bus
She told me that she’d pray for me on Sunday
Because she didn’t smoke or drink or cuss
She’s a good Christian woman
Gimme, gimme, gimme the hypocrite blues
The girl in HR said she couldn’t help me
The nemesis, she said, was here to stay
She offered me advice that I should follow
“If you see her coming, you should pray.”
The nemesis she sings in her church choir
But honesty don’t bother her too much
I wonder when she runs her colleagues over
Does she ever even feel the slightest bump?
She smiles like a giant Cheshire tabby
Her mouth is full of lies as well as gums
And when she stabs the minions in the backside
Onward Christian Soldiers she does hum
When she meets the GC she brings good news
“I solved another problem; it’s no more”
Of course she fails to mention to the GC
There really weren’t no problem there before
(c) 2014 Renata Manzo– this is a work of my imagination. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.