It’s Getting Dark in Here

It’s getting dark in here
Don’t want to leave
Shadow’s falling
And I believe
Wind’s picking up
Things so unclear
I’m afraid of my shadow
And it’s getting dark in here . . .
Don’t talk about angels
Or how I’ll be saved
I’m no coward
But I’m not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain’s getting near
I’m done with running
And it’s getting dark in here
It’s Getting Dark in Here, lyrics by Bernie Taupin
© 2004 HST Management Ltd./Rouge Booze, Inc.
I’m at the point now where I’m just laughing as each new thing goes wrong.  There’s nothing I can do about any of them.  I can’t mention some of them, because they have to do with the house I’m trying to sell.  But suffice it to say, we will be pouring more money into the house before we can sell it.  We just replaced the kitchen appliances with stainless steel, because buyers want to see an “updated kitchen.”  And Billy, the ultimate handy man, is replacing the fixtures, lights and mirrors in the bathrooms, and painting the vanities.  The rooms look fantastic.  But so far, no dice.

Then there’s my job.  I love the job.  The work is interesting and the people are friendly.  The vibe here was very warm.  I say was, because it has changed recently.  The company is owned by a joint venture, and the minority owner wants to sell.  Headquarters in Denmark told us there might be an IPO on the Danish market.  But then in October we received a due diligence request that seemed to us to be much more detailed than an IPO would require.  Now the word around here is that we will be acquired likely by– wait for it– a large tobacco company.  It could be my former employer, or it could be BAT (British America Tobacco).  Either way, the new owner already has a base of operations in the U.S. and will probably not need more lawyers.  Possibly the only people who will keep their jobs are a few in marketing.  Merry Christimas.
The good news for me is, IF I can sell my house, I will probably retire.  Billy and I are going to buy a pop up camper and hit the road.  But see the first paragraph.  It’s a VERY BIG IF right now.
It’s easy to praise God when things are going well.  We thank God for all the good things in our lives.  But if God is responsible for the good things, isn’t he responsible for the bad things as well?  Like many, many people, I struggle with this.
Oddly however, the more things go wrong, the more I dig into my faith.  What choice do I have, really?  Is God testing me, like Job?  I doubt it.  I don’t think God does that any more.  He apparently turned over a new leaf around the time of the New Testament.
I’ve always believed that worrying is a useless emotion.  It doesn’t change the outcome, and it’s negative.  It increases stress.  I have enough stress right now, thank you very much.
So I’ve turned this matter over to God.  I pray every day, sometimes several times a day.  I’m not quite sure what he is doing right now, because the tunnel is getting darker instead of lighter, but I still have faith.
If you could spare a prayer, I would be most appreciative.  Also, please share my blog and leave a comment, so I will know I’m not alone.

3 thoughts on “It’s Getting Dark in Here

  1. My dear friend,
    God is not responsible for the bad things but He does allow them to draw us closer to Him and so He will get the ultimate glory as your testimony continues to deepen. He knows we cling tighter to Him in the trials. Unfortunately, most of us become complacent when things are going well. I know without trials, I would be my own god. In good times, it seems I tell Him, “Yo daddio, I got this.” It's when all hell breaks loose (literally), as I hang by the end of my rope that I yell, “hey, a little help here please.”. I'm in a phase of my life where I am 100% dependent on Him and I pray I don't lose focus (again!!!!) so I can rest in the shadow of His wings.

    When you have a few minutes, read Psalms 17 and 18 and be encouraged! Love ya

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  2. Renata,
    My sister sent me this and I want to share it with you now during this difficult time.
    Every trial must come through His love but every trial has a purpose. Every pain has a purpose, every ordeal contains a seed of victory, and there is a promise for every problem you and I will ever face. The psalmist writes, “The LORD is my strength, my shield from every danger. I trust in him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy” (Psalm 28:7). Our sorrows can turn to joy. I pray you would let God be your strength and helper. That you would turn over every financial concern and health scare to Him. That you would begin to understand that in your weakness He becomes your strength (2 Corinthians 12:19) and that our Creator is the master of the impossible (Luke 18:27) and that He alone makes a way where there seems to be no way. That on the cross He exchanged our hurts, worries and sickness for healing, peace and wellness. There's proof that we will overcome, He conquered death and was resurrected.
    Have confidence that God is in control. Warren Wiersbe writes, “When God permits His children to go through the furnace, He keeps his eye on the clock and His hand on the thermostat!” God will never let us face more than we can handle with His help. Hebrews 12:12 says it so well: “So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs.”
    And finally remember that Jesus said this himself… “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:13
    May the peace that surpasses all understanding be yours and your family's forever.
    In His Great Name,
    Jeanie

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  3. My dear Renata,
    You are not alone; ever. When the tide is out, we sometimes see a boat stranded, unable to move, but we know that this condition is temporary because the tide always comes back and refloats the boat. As long as you keep up your daily visit with God, your soul is open to tidal water, and even if you should seemingly be left high and dry for a period, it is only a question of time before the living ocean will float you off once more. “Keep your soul flooded with the tidal water of eternal life and….nothing shall by any means hurt you.” (Luke 10:19).

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