As we toil away in Corporate America, who amongst us has not suffered the loss of food from the communal refrigerator?  It’s a problem as old as the water cooler itself.  Plenty of Facebook posts and Youtube videos illustrate ways to get back at these inconsiderate jerks who seem to think they are at home where everything in the fridge is fair game.   I personally like the spitting technique or the hot sauce revenge.  I’ve been lucky, however; no one wants my leftovers.  (I don’t know why not considering my husband is a retired chef).  But I better not tempt fate.

A few months ago, a woman in our office became a victim of a refrigerator marauder.  I penned this ditty in her honor.

She was late for work
So she grabbed the first thing
From the freezer she saw
A new Lean Cuisine.

A panini she brought
And her tastebuds did soar
At the thought of the treat
She now had in store.

Ensconced in the freezer
The morning flew past
When lunchtime arrived
She could eat it at last.

But the sandwich was gone!
How could this be?
Alas, said Betty
From me, they took three.

Who would do such a thing
In an office so small?
Such a dastardly deed
So shameless, what gall!

With the box, Sheldon said
We could dust it for prints
But the crook was too smart
And left not a hint.
 
If we ever find out
The name of the thief
We’ll show him no mercy
No end to his grief
 
Remember revenge
Is always best cold
He’ll wish he had eaten
His own yogurt with mold.
 

© 2015 Renata Manzo