Only the Good Die Young

They say the good die young
I guess that must be true
My heart keeps on beating
Though I don’t want it to
 
Sweet friends they went too early
The teacher and the vet
I dine on desperation
Why cannot I go next?
 
A bridge so high, so far to fall
Paul’s death a certainty
One step was all it took for him
To find eternity
 
I don’t know why God holds me here
The reason’s kept from me
My heart continues beating
My soul begs to be free
 
My mother left me twice
It’s more than I can bear
My siblings joined her cause this time
And turned around their chairs
 
Bartleby you got it right
To die is just to sleep
Lie me down and let me go
My bed the harsh concrete
 
A gun’s too loud
Pills too unsure
Perhaps I’ll use the car
Overpass or traffic light
Which one shall I prefer?
 
Don’t call me coward, that’s not fair
You don’t know pain like this
You cannot know what it feels like
To wear a granite vest
 
Who would even notice?
With time, each mem’ry fades
The living go on living
The dead they just decay
 
What would I do if I were you
And you beseeching me
Would I call for help
to come at once
Or leave and let you be?

Winter in the City (gives me the blues)

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Winter is much easier to take when I’m hiking on the trail.

At the corner
Of Three Chopt and Wright
The traffic rushed past me
As I waited for the light
I’m on the way to work
Again
It seems I was just here
Waiting for the light to change
Was that yesterday?
My life’s an endless circle
The scenery’s the same
The traffic light the only thing
That ever seems to change
Yet even it
Repeats itself
The weather cycles too
From winter to winter and then
While I sit here looking upward
The sun shines through again

Crazy Things My Dad used to Say

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And sooner or later
Everybody’s kingdom must end
And I’m so afraid your courtiers
Cannot be called best friends

 The King Must Die, lyrics by B. Taupin
(c) 1969 Dick James Music, Inc.

In earlier posts, I have discussed the causes of depression.   Research indicates that at least one cause of depression is physical.  At the same time, depression is a complex illness and can also be caused by environmental factors such as abuse, conflict, major events and medications.

One of my doctors once told me that one of the signs of being an adult is being able to discard some of the things our parents taught us.   Continue reading

Happy New Year! I’m Still Standing–No more Playing it Safe

Happy New Year!

This is the first time in my life that I have felt hopeful about a new year starting.  I’ve never felt this way before.  2014 was such a difficult year for me, with so many changes, uncertainty and unexpected events.  2015 can only be better, right?  Even if it’s not, I’ve been through so much and not only survived, but persevered and thrived, that I know that no matter what life throws at me, I will be able to weather it.  Now that is a new feeling for me. Continue reading

Irish Setter Discovers Cure for Depression

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Elton John and Arthur, one of his many dogs

Who’ll walk me down to church when I’m 60 years of age
When the ragged dog they gave me has been ten years in the grave?
Sixty Years On—Bernie Taupin © 1969 Dick James Music Ltd.

Easy answer– get a new dog.

And no, an Irish setter did not discover a cure for depression.  It was a golden retriever.  Goldens are a lot smarter than setters.  Everyone knows that.   Continue reading

Oddball Ways to Cope with Depression during the Holidays

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Think I’m gonna kill myself
Cause a little suicide
Stick around for a couple of days
What a scandal if I died
I think I’m Going to Kill Myself, by B. Taupin
1972 Dick James Music Ltd.

Christmas and winter are bad times in terms of depression.  Coping with depression is not a “one and done”.  It takes constant reminders and “mindful” (I hate that term!) focus on  the strategies that work.  With that in mind (no pun intended), I’m re-posting an earlier post with holiday-specific tips.

Disclaimer: I’m no expert, and I’m not trying to give any medical advice. These are methods I use that help me cope. Perhaps some of them might help you too. Continue reading

I’m Thankful For All that I’m Allowed

And I’ve got all that I’m allowed
It’ll do for me, I’m thankful now
I see hope in every cloud
And I’m thankful, thankful
I’m thankful, So thankful
I’m thankful, I’ve got all that I’m allowed
All That I’m Allowed, lyrics by Bernie Taupin
© 2004 HST Management Ltd./Rouge Booze, Inc.
On Monday I whined about everything that’s going wrong in my life.  Today I focus on everything that’s going right.  And there’s plenty to be thankful for.

Continue reading

It’s Getting Dark in Here

It’s getting dark in here
Don’t want to leave
Shadow’s falling
And I believe
Wind’s picking up
Things so unclear
I’m afraid of my shadow
And it’s getting dark in here . . .
Don’t talk about angels
Or how I’ll be saved
I’m no coward
But I’m not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain’s getting near
I’m done with running
And it’s getting dark in here
It’s Getting Dark in Here, lyrics by Bernie Taupin
© 2004 HST Management Ltd./Rouge Booze, Inc.
I’m at the point now where I’m just laughing as each new thing goes wrong.  There’s nothing I can do about any of them.  I can’t mention some of them, because they have to do with the house I’m trying to sell.  But suffice it to say, we will be pouring more money into the house before we can sell it.  We just replaced the kitchen appliances with stainless steel, because buyers want to see an “updated kitchen.”  And Billy, the ultimate handy man, is replacing the fixtures, lights and mirrors in the bathrooms, and painting the vanities.  The rooms look fantastic.  But so far, no dice.

Continue reading

I’m a Clown! LOL! I’m laughing! No, I’m crying

Now there’s some sad things known to man
But ain’t too much sadder than
the tears of a clown
When there’s no one around
Smokey Robinson – The Tears Of A Clown Lyrics | MetroLyrics

How can a man who seemed so happy and could make us laugh so histerically that we peed our pants, be so desolate that he hangs himself?

Continue reading