Don’t Go Smelling My . . .

kiki dee

When you live with boys and men (larger boys, really), one thing is inevitable– farts.  For some reason, men love their farts.  The first time my husband told me that he and  best friend Steve used to light their farts when they were boys, I was appalled.  Continue reading

Watch out, Weird Al Yankovich

Luther left us first light Friday morning
Little Dan and Becky waved goodbye
They’re gonna have to share the weight together
Idle hands will see a good farm slowly die
chorus:
Gone to Shiloh for the Union
Shoulder to shoulder, side by side
Gone to Shiloh, hope springs eternal
When flags and bullets start to fly
April’s come and the air smells fresh with rain
They watched his shadow fade around the bend
He’s headed for a different kind of thunder
And the stunned surprise in the eyes of dying men
chorus:
Gone to Shiloh for the Union
Shoulder to shoulder, side by side
Gone to Shiloh, time passes slowly
When flags and bullets start to fly
The old black rooster sang him down that dirt road
His step seemed bold, his manner fancy-free
I pray we see him alive and well in the fall here
Than that God-forsaken place in Tennessee
chorus:
Gone to Shiloh for the Union
Shoulder to shoulder, side by side
Gone to Shiloh, men stand united
When flags and bullets start to fly
After all of this
If we should prevail
Heaven help the South
When Sherman comes their way
Gone to Shiloh, lyrics by Bernie Taupin
(c) 2010 Mercury Records

 Obviously, I like to write.   It’s cathartic and it amuses me.   I got this wild idea recently to write song parodies.  Don’t ask me why.  I can only say it amuses me.
    Unfortunately, I can’t sing anymore and I don’t play any musical instruments an more, so I can only post the lyrics.  You’ll have to add the music yourself in your head.  If anyone out there wants to record them, let me know.  I’ll handle getting the appropriate copyright licenses.
    The first one I’m going to share with you is, unfortunately, not from a popular song.  It’s from the album (do we still call them albums?) The Union, by Elton John (who else?) and Leon Russell.  If you were born before 1970  you’ll probably remember him.  He liked to wear top hats back then.  He’s about 70 now and lives in Nashville.  Elton John is a big fan.  Apparently a couple of years ago, Elton was listening to Leon and decided to do an album with him. That’s Leon on the right.



  
     The original song is called “Gone to Shiloh”. It’s a lugubrious song about a soldier who leaves Tennessee to fight for the Union.  Not for the Confederacy, but for the North.  
    Tennessee had split loyalties at the start of the “War of Northern Aggression” (the Civil War to anyone living anywhere but the South.)   The landowners in the western part of the state, many of whom owned slaves, wanted to secede.   Many of the folks living in the mountains wanted to stay with the Union.  Tennessee as a state eventually sided with the Confederates, but some people who lived in the mountains did fight for the Union.  Hence the song.
      I discovered an unusual connection with this particular song.   The first time I heard it, I was in a car travelling to the Smokies to do a section hike on the A.T.   This section of the A.T. runs back and forth across the Tennessee and North Carolina borders.
     While we were hiking one day, we came across a small gravesite.  The AT guide explained that the graves belonged to several soldiers who lived in the area and went to fight for the Union.  On a trip back home during the war, they were ambushed by Confederate sympathizers and killed.  The event is called the Shelton Laurel Massacre. The soldiers in this gravesite were actually from North Carolina, not Tennessee.  Like Tennessee, some people living in the mountains of western North Carolina sided with the Union.

The Shelton Gravesite just off the Appalachian Trail

When we saw the gravesite, it was surrounded by a low white fence, and the graves were decorated with flags.  The site is located near a fire road, which makes it accessible.   Someone cares for this site very much.
     With that serious and tragic background, we get to the song and the parody.  It seemed to me that a serious song called for a light-hearted parody to brighten the mood.  Hence, “Gone to Shiloh for the Union” became “Gone to Macy’s for the Weekend.”   Here’s a link to youtube if you want to watch Elton and Leon perform the song: Gone to Shiloh

<!–[if gte vml 1]>

GONE TO MACY’S

 

Marcie left them whining in the morning

Gerald and the two kids waved goodbye

They’re gonna have to make their lunch together

Grubby hands will see a clean wall quickly dyed

Gone to Macy’s for the weekend

Looking for bargains in the right size

Gone to Macy’s, deals she is seeking

When sales and coupons start to fly

 

The weekend’s come and the sale has just begun

They watched her Tahoe speed out toward the sun

She’s headed for a different kind of playdate

And her credit card will melt when she is done

 

Gone to Macy’s for the weekend

Looking for bargains in the right size

Gone to Macy’s, time passes quickly

When sales and coupons start to fly

 

The silver sneakers eyed her with suspicion

Their steps were slow, their faces rather droll

They can’t wait for this friggin’ sale to be over

A quiet mall is how they like to roll

 

Gone to Macy’s for the weekend

Looking for bargains in the right size

Gone to Macy’s, the parking deck gets busy

When sales and coupons start to fly

 

After all of this

If she hits the sales

Heaven help the mall

When Marcie sees percale

 

© 2014 Renata Manzo

<![endif]–><!–[if gte vml 1]>

GONE TO SHILOH

 

Luther left us first light Friday morning

Little Dan and Becky waved goodbye

They’re gonna have to share the weight together

Idle hands will see a good farm slowly die

chorus:

 

Gone to Shiloh for the Union

Shoulder to shoulder, side by side

Gone to Shiloh, hope springs eternal

When flags and bullets start to fly

April’s come and the air smells fresh with rain

They watched his shadow fade around the bend

He’s headed for a different kind of thunder

And the stunned surprise in the eyes of dying men

 

Gone to Shiloh for the Union

Shoulder to shoulder, side by side

Gone to Shiloh, time passes slowly

When flags and bullets start to fly

The old black rooster sang him down that dirt road

His step seemed bold, his manner fancy-free

I pray we see him alive and well in the fall here

Than that God-forsaken place in Tennessee

 

Gone to Shiloh for the Union

Shoulder to shoulder, side by side

Gone to Shiloh, men stand united

When flags and bullets start to fly

 

After all of this

If we should prevail

Heaven help the South

When Sherman comes their way

 

© 2010 Mercury Records Limited

<![endif]–>Gone to Macy’s

Marcie left them whining in the morning
Jordan and the two kids waved goodbye
They’re gonna have to make their lunch together
Grubby hands will see a clean wall quickly dye

Gone to Macy’s for the weekend
Looking for bargains, in the right size
Gone to Macy’s, hope springs eternal
When sales and coupons start to fly.

The weekend’s come and the sale has just begun
They watched her Tahoe head out toward the sun
She’s headed for a different type of playdate
And her credit card will melt when she is done.

Gone to Macy’s for the weekend
Looking for bargains, in the right size
Gone to Macy’s, the parking deck is busy
When sales and coupons start to fly

The silver sneakers eyed her with suspicision
Their steps were slow, their faces rather droll
They can’t wait for the friggin’ sale to be over
A quiet mall is how they like to roll

Gone to Macy’s for the weekend
looking for bargains, in the right size
Gone to Macy’s, time passes quickly
When sales and coupons start to fly.

After all of this
If she shops the sales
Heaven help the mall
When Marcie sees percale

(c) 2014 Renata Manzo